Anonyme asked:
What university do you go to?

i don’t like to mention its name on here— i don’t want to show up on its tag. it’s a very small very liberal school in portland. i adore it in the way that you adore something that simultaneously gives you life and demolishes you. 


Mountain by Jakob Walter

Wojciech Siudmak - Morning Poem

days filled with more fog that maine could handle. old faces but mine isn’t among them. i used to numb out so i couldn’t feel and then i got too good at evading that brand of nothing. now i fog up so i can’t think. it’s numbness that’s metastasized to my brain. before i couldn’t handle feeling so i stopped feeling. now i can’t handle thinking so i’ve stopped thinking. it’s not even myopia, it’s gluing my eyelids down. the opposite of a clockwork orange. that being said i suppose the colors of the real world only seem really real when i viddy them on the screen. i’m averaging 3.5 movies a day. i think i’m looking for something but i don’t know what i’m looking for, and i don’t know if i’ll know it when i see it. 

i’ve considered writing a paragraph soc after every movie, then going back and comparing what i’ve written, just to see if i can find a common theme connecting my reactions to the content. 

my mind is silent but i keep chattering. i don’t want to listen. but it’s pleasant when the house is empty or asleep, or at least it is for five minutes until i have to turn on opb lest i explode. 

i don’t have to write. i don’t have to produce. the more i rail against this inability, the more unstable i become. it’s not that i want to understand something. it’s that i want to understand. intransitively. no object in mind. the question isn’t ‘what do you want to understand?’ it’s ‘do you want to understand?’ and i think the answer is yes but i can’t seem to convince myself of that fact. 

i need a grammar for this miserable fog. 

i tell kira that i find even the idea of a romantic relationship to be utterly repulsive right now and she squeezes my knee in what might be concern i guess. i don’t know these things. 


Glass negative (detail) of Gaston Lachaise Sculptures taken while they were still in his Georgetown Maine Studio shortly after their creation, ca. 1910-25 [x]

Fraktal Studio

douglas j cardinal - st mary’s church, red deer, alberta, canada, 1965

Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (German-American, 1886-1969) | Unrealized project | House for Margaret Hubbe | Courtyard house to have been situated on the banks of an island in the Elbe River | Madgeburg, Germany | 1935

Laura Kim, Untitled, 2011 Relief ink on Japanese gampi-surface paper, 37 by 50 inches